long time no see. i'm feeling quite empty and devastated so i don't want to talk bout something close to me.(maybe a little emo shitty chit-chat?). i was lately thinking what really defines ourselves. am i r e a l l y myself when i'm alone or when i'm with friends? in my opinion our true original part is only a small ball, a little sphere deep inside us. as we grow up we add one layer after another. they're made of other's people opinions, gestures, mimics - to put it simply - everything that we admire in other person. this feeling of admiration must be strong enough to make you feel as you would like to absorb that feature, that it's necessity for you to become a better person.so if it's like this what does it mean to be original? for me it seems like being original is having strong character which influents and inspires people around you. i simply h a t e people who are nice to everyone, they make me sick and i feel like a rotten person, because i want to lets say destroy them, hurt them, make them hate me - i want them to show emotions that are integral part of life. maybe it's because i often show my feelings, i can't hide them so well. bleh it's sickening to see a person smiling to everyone. i can't stop myself from thinking that this person is extremely unsincere.

it's all for now my honeys!